He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
