Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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