dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
