spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
