I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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