We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
