i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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