I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
