I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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