Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize