her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
