You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
