Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
