i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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