I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
