I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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