the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
