im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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