Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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