is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Panties = found
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
