Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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