season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
