I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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