I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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