I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
