i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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