A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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