i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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