my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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