i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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