is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
