Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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