i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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