i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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