Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
