me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've blown a few things in my day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
