Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
