Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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