There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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