Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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