I wish i was in the wii world.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize