How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have already put on my inside pants.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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