what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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