my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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