My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
