her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
worst night to have a conscience
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
