And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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