I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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