Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
