I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize