we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
