turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize