I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
