I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
