just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
