Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
