Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
